11 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting a Buzz Cut


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Photo: Everett Collection

Thinking of taking the buzz cut plunge? You’re not the first, and you certainly won’t be the last. Before you decide to turn to the clippers, ask yourself the following questions. If any answers give you pause, make you scratch your long-haired head, or concern you, put the trimmer down and reassess the decision.

1. Do I have to shower to get my hair to look normal in the morning?

2. Did I have more fun as a buzz-cutted t-baller?

3. Could I pass a sobriety test right now?

4. Is this a psychotic episode loosely related to a recent breakup?

5. [If bearded] Do I mind looking like a tennis ball?

6. How long will it take to grow back if I do not like it?

7. Am I getting married in the next 3 weeks? If yes, will my intended be pissed?

8. Am I bald?

9. Will this make my kind-of big ears look bigger still?

10. Is my hairline straight and well-defined, or is it jagged, and how will this all work together?

11. Is this because I just saw Mad Max?

12. Do I look good in a hat? (Just in case.)

13. Do I sometimes pretend I’m in a hair commercial? Will I miss that?